


Fear

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/F, M/M, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-01
Updated: 2006-04-01
Packaged: 2019-02-02 12:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12726270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: It's moving day for Sam, and Daniel comes to terms with the truth. Sequel to Courage. It's actually kind of important that you read that one first, since these two fics are definitely companion pieces.





	Fear

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

I'm not the man Jack thinks I am. I used to be. I'll admit that. Back when Sha're was my world and I was still holding out hope that someday we would be together again, I can honestly say it never occurred to me that love wasn't worth the risks.

But now... Sha're is gone. And although I've come close to loving others in the time since her death, I've never truly been in love.

Only... that's not quite true. Sometimes, I can almost admit I might be in love with Jack, but the risks are so great that I can't bring myself to take them. Not this time.

I sigh and lean back in my seat, wondering why I've chosen today to dwell on these thoughts.

We're following Sam and Teal'c, who are in the U-Haul in front of us. Apparently, when Sam's lease came up for renewal, her landlord wanted her to either buy the house or move out so he could sell it. She chose to move out and into Janet's house until she had time to start house hunting.

They get along so well that I'll be surprised if this arrangement with Janet doesn't end up lasting until one of them finds herself a significant other.

And with that thought, I find myself led straight back to Jack. He wants me to find someone else, now that I no longer have Sha're. He thinks I can't be happy alone.

He's right. And wrong.

I can't be happy alone, that's true, but as long as I have him as my friend, I'm not alone.

He has no idea how much his friendship means to me, even after all these years.

I wonder if Sam and Janet will develop a friendship as strong as ours, or if they already have. I start to mention it to Jack, just a casual comment about their new roommate status, about how close they seem lately, but when I turn my head, I catch Jack staring at me in a way I've never seen before.

The words I wanted to say get lost in my throat.

I jerk my gaze back to the front and stare through the windshield. As we top a hill, a blinding flash of sunlight streams across my face, forcing me to squint. It hurts, and I reach up to rub at my eyes.

And I wonder, is it the sunlight making them burn--or something else?

Jack doesn't say anything to me, acting as if his stare meant nothing, but I can't erase what I saw in his gaze.

Jack thinks I'm fearless, but I'm not. I know what fear is.

And I'm afraid. I can't risk our friendship for a chance at love when I know that love can never last forever, that even when we want it too, others step in and steal that choice from us. Because I know he's tied to his job in a way that I'm not. I could have given it up, after Sha're's death, and I wouldn't have looked back. The regrets would have been small, and I would have had the knowledge that Jack and Sam and Teal'c, and even General Hammond and Janet were still around, taking care of the world, protecting us. I could have been happy, moving on with my life like that.

But I didn't quit, and now, now I can't. Because I'm not the same man I was.

There's nothing for me away from that place. The weight of the world is on my shoulders, and I can't turn my back to that.

I've always been certain Jack felt the same. The SGC was his life long before it became mine.

But he's never told me what I believe I just saw in his eyes.

It was a shock to see my own feelings reflected back at me so clearly.

And now the risks aren't looking quite so great.

THE END


End file.
